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She attended several meetings of a support group with me. She was deeply ashamed of wanting to transition, and what that would do to her wife.My divorce had finalized almost a year ago, and in the days that followed, I desperately needed someone to hold me to this life. Laura was there for me. Sometimes she would come over and hold me while I cried.As I thought of these times, tears rolled down my cheeks. She was gone now, because this shitty world of ours hates to hear the truth. It took this wonderful, caring child, and beat it into submission, making a 'real man' of her. But they couldn't destroy the spirit of that sensitive, caring woman. It tore her apart. She told the lie others wanted to hear. She tried to believe it herself, and in the end, when she could no longer avoid the truth, she ended her own life. Instead of putting her wife through the embarrassment of divorce, she stuck the barrel of a shotgun in her mouth, and kissed the world goodbye.The crowd meanders from the new. The Cabbie carried my bags to the door and I thanked him , gave him another 10 for the fair and a tip.My heart was racing as I put groceries away , haphazardly shoving boxes and cans into the pantry not caring where they went.I grabbed the scissors and almost had to stop myself from running up the stairs as i cradled the plastic clamshell housing my new and welcome addition to the bathroom.I read the instructions twice.Turned the radio on and then I carefully cut the plastic and slipped the showerhead free of its housing , connected the long snake like hose to the cold steel pipe protruding from the wall and attached the shower head to the hose.You've never seen a woman throw off her clothes so fast just to hop in the shower.I was quivering inside.Aching.I held my lover for dear life as I began to run the cold and then the hot water taps, pulled up the silver knob and felt those first trickles of warm water rush over my skin.It felt so good as I waved the wand slowly along my.
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